Grandma says that military service wasn’t always compulsory. She even says it used to only be the men who joined. I think Grandma’s lost her marbles. If she’d tried to say one or the other, I might have believed it. But not both together.

Grandma says there used to be more people, of all colors, shapes and sizes. I’m sure she’s off her rocker. Of course there used to be more people, before the wars in far off lands, lands so far away, even television can’t show them. But all colors?  And how could there be different sizes and shapes, when we all eat the same things?

Grandma says there used to be more choosing by people, less choosing by the government. She even says the people used to choose who ran the government. I think grandma’s out to lunch. The government always chooses for the people. How would we even know what we wanted without them telling us? No way we could choose our leaders, we don’t even know what positions there are, much less open.

Grandma says she used to go to far away places, flying on planes or sailing on boats. She even rode a train once, she says. I think grandma’s gone unhinged. Travelling to other places when everything we need is right inside the fence? Everyone knows only soldiers go on planes and boats. Trains are only for soldiers bringing our supplies.

Grandma says there used to be other religions. She says there even used to be other names for God. I think grandma’s not playing with a full deck. Sure, a long time ago there might have been people who hadn’t heard of God. But not now, when we all have to attend services three days a week. And everyone knows there’s only the one name for God.

Grandma says some funny things sometimes. I think the funniest things she says are the things about my ma and pa. She says they were too smart for their own good. I think grandma’s gone bananas. How could they be so smart and get lost going to town? The soldiers would find them, I’m sure.

Grandma says I should put the phone down, now. But I think grandma’s lost it. How can I report the old bat, if I don’t use the phone?

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4 thoughts on “The things Grandma says

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